Honesty.

After going through therapy a few years ago, I've not only learned to be honest but its like word vomit. I mean, its suppose to be good to be honest isn't it? but it has got me into a lot of shit. Do you ever find yourself in tricky situations just because you couldn't just tell a little white lie, or even diverse from the truth?


I am lucky, in the fact that I am trustworthy and reliable as I am open and honest when it comes to everything. But it also has its disadvantages. I cant help but be a rule follower to ensure that I am on the right track, and doing right... always. So if i'm asked a question about how I feel I can guarantee you will get more than you bargained for. Sometimes I can withhold oversharing but often I don't have a filter and words just fall out my mouth without even thinking about it, has that ever happened to you? How do you control it?!

It also causes a lot of stress on my part, as you see people being dishonest and fake, scheming and sliding their way out of something and that makes me wonder, how do people get away with so much shit just because they have the ability to lie?

Today I failed my driving test, I was doing perfectly fine until I passed some parked cars, after three or four went by he moved my steering wheel over and said I was too close, but I wasn't. I was a safe distance away and on the right was houses and driveways so I didn't want to be too close to their side either so I positioned myself to what I believed was correct, and what I had done throughout my whole test, but It wasn't a problem then? It wasn't a problem when I passed three cyclists on three different occasions, but because I was coming up to the very end of my test and didn't do anything else major he then sabotaged it for me which I feel is disgusting. How can you do that to someone?
This is what kicked off my trail of thought on honesty. I hold my hand up, I did have a few minors but there was nothing else. That was it. He went out of his way to move my wheel and instantly fail me when I was OK.  How do you live with yourself knowing you've lied, you've twisted and altered reality for your own scheduled or satisfaction?
If I was to sabotage someone else for my benefit I can guarantee you I would feel horrifically guilty for the rest of the week, probably even longer than the suffering I had caused someone else.


If you're the type of person that is honest then I feel for you, its not always easy.
But if you're a person is dishonest, try thinking about what you are doing and how it effects others.


Jacqueline x